Thursday, 30 September 2010

Actual conversation with 3-year old

What follows is a conversation I had with my 3 year old son when I put him to bed the other night. He wanted to talk, and when I asked about what he said 'ask me a question'. So I did.

Q: So, what do you do in the Imperium?
A: I'm a pilot.
Q: Really? Do you fly the Black Ships and take psykers to the Emperor?
A: Yeah. It's a big spaceship.
Q: What do the psykers say to you?
A: They say. 'what you doing, bumhead?'
Q: They call you bumhead?
A: Yeah, like this (squeaky voice) 'what you doing, you bumhead?'
Q: That's not nice. What do you say?
A: I say, 'be quiet! I'm trying to fly the spaceship!'
Q: How do you feel about delivering the psykers to the Emperor?
A: (pause) Erm... it's okay.
Q: Don't you like it?
A: No. I fly in the spaceship to the planet and I land and I have to fly away again because all the people are saying, 'go away, you bumhead'. And I fly away and they say, 'come back!' and I just fly and I go home.
Q: Is that because they call you a bumhead?
A: Yeah.
Q: It's not nice being called a bumhead, is it?
A: No.
Q: Do they always say it?
A: No, because I crash the spaceships on their heads and say, 'you bumheads!'
Q: Nice. But then you can't take them to the Emperor. Does he mind?
A: No, he laughs because I crash on them.
Q: The God Emperor laughs? He likes you?
A: Yeah. We play Postman Pat game.
Q: You play Postman Pat with the God Emperor of the Imperium, the protector of all mankind for ten thousand years?
A: Yeah. He cheats.
Q: Goodnight, Bruce.
A: Goodnight, dad. I love you.
Q: I love you. Sleep well, and dream of spaceships.
A: I will.

So there you have it. The God Emperor of mankind likes the Postman Pat game and cheats when he plays. You heard it here first.

Bruce is helping me out in the shop for the next four weeks so come and experience the wonders of the RPG toddler. Conversations never get boring.