Thursday, 30 July 2009

A ‘We’re Bored!’ Chart for you

Are your players wandering about? Not sure what’s going to happen next because the PCs have derailed the plot?

Then welcome to Farsight Games' Totally Tried and Tested Table of Titbits. Simply roll 1D20 – the result is what happens next.

1 - Party is attacked by a wandering monster.
2 - Party is attacked by a wandering monster looking for directions.
3 - Mysterious small cartoonish white-haired but balding man in red robes appears who says he can get you home but won’t just tell you straight how to do it.
4 - A dragon falls out of the sky, lands heavily on a randomly chosen character, gasps, ‘The money’s in the…’ and then dies.
5 - Tapdancing goblin.
6 - Attacked by 1D6 lethargic orcs who really can’t be bothered.
7 - Approached by a random NPC who wants to sell them time-shares in a glorious castle by the sea, overlooking Passion Lagoon, honestly, it’s just beautiful...
8 - Tapdancing goblin.
9 - It starts to rain... Acid rain!
10 - Nothing happens. Some tumbleweed rolls past.
11 - Three talking mice engage the PCs in a theological conversation about the existence of Squeesquee, the Rodent God.
12 - A spaceship lands and three aliens attempt to invade the whole game world with a rubber band and a wooden club.
13 - Tapdancing goblin.
14 - Car chase! No matter what the genre!
15 - Intermission. All the players must go to the lobby for snacks.
16 - Ninja Pirate attack! No matter what the players say, all games benefit from the inclusion of Ninjas and Pirates. Ninja Pirates is just gaming gold.
17 - Tapdancing goblin.
18 - Random NPC tries to seduce one of the PCs.
19 - Bar fight! Even if they’re not in a bar!
20 - Two tapdancing goblins.


  1. I love the fact that there is a 20% chance of getting at least one tapdancing goblin. If you were to increase it - here are some more:

    21. Undamaged galleon at full sail found in the middle of a field. No-one aboard.
    22. Party walk into a flowery field that sends them to sleep. When they wake up, their clothes are gone.
    23. The party have a stalker who is following them out of lust.
    24. A stray arrow comes out of nowhere and sticks one of the party.
    25. They meet a half-human half-goblin trader riding a giraffe. He has a broad selection sweet meats for sale. It's all human but he won't let on.

  2. Dude, LOL @ number 22 - I'm definitely including that one in my next game.

  3. 26. A delightful copse is on the horizon. It's been on the horizon for days. The trees are moving a walking pace and are avoiding the party.
    27. Party meet a troll trying to finish his house (a bridge) but has done his back in. Tries to convince the team to help.
    28. The party have a fully fledged fan club, and magically turns up when they are about to go into some peril to cheer them on and to say they were there. They never, ever help out.
    29. A local dignatry looks just like a party member. Everwhere he goes, people ask her for help and advice. Someone's also trying to assasinate him.
    30. A wizard shoots overhead and later does so in the opposite direction. If they ever meet him, he will confess he's perfected the Cruise Magic Missile.

  4. 31. The party meet a travelling party of bards who communicate in song. They are short on material so will follow the team from now on.
    32. There's a big hole in the ground, 20ft across, 20ft deep. At the bottom is a very angry peasant who doesn't know how she got down there. She'll pay to get out. While en route to escorting her back home, the party will wake to find themselves in a 20ft hole. She sleep digs.
    33. A huge organised army of a friendly race (humans etc) meet the party. The commanding officer takes them to the side and asks them for directions. They're trying to get to somewhere off the map to a war that ended last year.
    34. Overnight, tree nymphs change the gender of one of the characters.
    35. Party arrive in a village where all the walls and roofs have been stolen overnight by a rival village.

  5. 36. The party notices that the ground seems to be trembling very few seconds. Upon cresting a hill they find a drunk giant who keeps falling over - he's trying to find a fast food outlet because he fancies a McHuman.
    37. The party wake up to find that all their body hair has vanished.
    38. An Ogre throws exactly ten green bottles at the party from where he's sitting on a wall.
    39. The next trader the party meets is mad and offers them ten thousand gold pieces for all their clothes if they give them to him on the spot. And, no, he does not have any other clothes to sell.
    40. The party wakes up to find that that they have swapped bodies with the PC sitting directly on their left.

  6. 42. Party stumble across two Paladins in full armour playing chess. As the party arrives, one acuses the other of cheating and a fight breaks out. If the party don't stop it, it will end in full scale war.
    43. Party find a bandit camp where all the bandits are dead with throwing knives in their chests. On further inspection, it will become obvious that there was a standoff where they all threw at the same time.
    44. Party find a stream flowing uphill the water tastes sweet and is delicious. It's a powerful aphrodesiac.
    45. Party arrive in a little village where there is a jubilant celebration going on. The party are urged to join in and have a great time. Later in the party, the realise it is to celebrate human sacrifice.

  7. 46. Sudden flash of blinding light - players must now hand their character sheets to the person on their right.
    47. Sudden flash of blinding light - a gnome, impervious to all magical and weapons attacks, promises untold wealth and power if they can solve his series of riddles (keep party strung along for as long as necessary with endless series of nonsensical riddles until they get back on track)
    48. Sad sack rice farmers appear and say their looking for warriors to protect their village from bandits. No pay.
    49. Sudden flash of blinding light - drugged out alchemist appears with mysterious "soul-stealer" device called...sounds a bit like..."Chimera"?
    50. Sudden flash of blinding light...then thunder...then rain.